I feel so restless staying at home. The only other young people in the house have moved out, so I'm left with my parents. I love them really but there's just something about coming home after a realllyyyy long day of work to two middle-aged parents that are adjusting to being almost elderly that ticks me off. Alhamdulillah my parents are alive but Allah please give me the strength to continue caring for them even when they're older and have elderly problems that I cannot seem to comprehend.
Came home today feeling absolutely shit since I left work at 8.30 and only had 4 hours of sleep the previous night. Dad wanted me to help him with his work. I tried to teach him how to use Google Drive to make both our jobs easier since he'll probably need my help transferring documents a lot more frequently from now but he refused to even let me open Drive and show how it works to him. I don't mind helping my dad; no, I genuinely want to help my dad especially when it comes to work but I am not exactly having the emptiest schedule right now so I really want to try and make things easier for the both of us. This was followed by him telling me how I am "just an intern" and that I "have nothing to prove to them".
Yes, I am an intern. I do unpaid OT everyday willingly. There are no material justifications for the amount of effort and time I put into my work and rushing deadlines. But, and this is a huge but, I am in love with my job. I am in love with my school. I am in love with the students and the teachers. I have never been happier contributing my time and energy anywhere else before. All I want is for my dad to see that I am happy doing whatever I am doing and that this is where my passion lies. All I want is his support as I go through this journey of discovering myself and discovering my limits in the working world. All I want is for him to understand that I will come home dead tired (from spending a whole day doing something I love) and respect my alone time.
Even if I did not love my job, I am a firm believer in always giving the best quality of work possible and to make full use of wherever I am in that point in time. A job is not merely to earn rezeki yang halal, but also an amanah (responsibility). Someone has placed their trust in me to finish certain tasks and regardless of how shit I am being treated, the tasks have to be executed to the best of my abilities. Submitting substandard work only makes me feel like I have failed myself, and that I have failed to jalankan my amanah. I am being taken seriously at work so why can't I just be taken seriously at home too?
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