MasyaAllah, it's 1 Ramadan already.
My 5 month internship finally came to an end. Until now, I still thank Allah for taking away the opportunity to intern with MOE and instead granted me the chance to join the Youths For Autism program at Pathlight. The opportunity was so enriching and insightful. Alhamdulillah for guiding me and for allowing me to guide others as well. You are truly the best of planners.
Ramadan is a month of new beginnings. I remember looking forward to Ramadan back in December 2015 and thinking "Wow, first ever Ramadan without school or work. I can fully concentrate on my ibadah!" Funny thing was, the closer I got to Ramadan, the more afraid I was of it. This is the first time I have no excuse not to step up my game. Literally nothing else is draining my energy. I started worrying about how good of a Muslim I would be in Ramadan in terms of both my akhlak and ibadah. Will I be able to put my best foot forward at all times?
Going for the expedition with madrasah right before Ramadan really helped me prep myself spiritually and mentally for this special month. The many activities that we did may all seem like normal camp activities done in secular camps. However, I came to realise that there is always a nilai and hikmah to gain from each activity regardless of how easy or difficult they are. To be surrounded by Allah's creations and appreciating them together with other brothers and sisters made the whole experience a lot sweeter. Favourite part had to be waking up for Subuh, hearing the azan merely metres away from me and praying as a jemaah. It was refreshing to be up that early with the brothers and sisters and just worshipping Him together. Alhamdulillah, this expedition made me more ready to embrace Ramadan as best as I can.
Speaking of new beginnings, I remember donning the hijab in Ramadan of 2010. For a long while since I hit puberty, I felt naked and wrong leaving the house with nothing covering my hair. Just trying to don the hijab took so much strength to not only convince myself that I could do it, but also my mother who was not so keen on me donning the hijab that early. She felt that I might want to take it off in the future, and told me not to main-main with such things. She was right. There has been numerous times when I feel like leaving the house free-haired. It is a lot simpler to put on a t-shirt and jeans to leave the house anyway. Deep down however, I knew I made the right choice. By donning the hijab that early in my life, I have set expectations on myself as well as allowed others to set expectations on me as a Muslim. The pressure has allowed me to stay on this path (mostly) and even when I do wander off, for I am human after all, to not wander too far away from the path. It is a constant reminder of who I am supposed to strive to be: a Muslim. Not only must I not forget my ibadah, but I have to take note of my adaab and akhlak as well.
This Ramadan, my goal is istiqamah. I just want to create discipline and consistency in terms of my ibadah. Baby steps comprising of sunnah prayers, only 5 pages of the Quran each solat and zikr whenever I can. In sha Allah I will be able to create a routine that I am able to still follow after Ramadan.
To anyone else thinking of trying something new this month, I only have one advice: do it. Even if it's just donning the hijab for a day, going for terawih for the first time or even fasting and praying fard prayers for the first time; just do it. It takes 21 days to form a habit making this holy month the perfect month to start forming one. Remember:
Allah swt says: "Take one step towards me, I will take ten steps towards you. Walk towards me, I will run towards you."
(Hadith Qudsi)
May He guide us and strengthen us in this month full of baraakah, and may He increase our imaan and taqwa so that we will all grow closer to him in sha Allah. Ameen.
Jazakallah khair and Ramadan Kareem.
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